Surprise Yourself!

I know it sounds crazy but, there is a method to my madness.

I want you to surprise yourself... simple as that!

How many times have you looked at someone and envied them for something they are doing that you "can't"?

How many times have you thought "Gee, I would love to go to that Zumba class but I can't" followed by a few tired excuses?

In dance I learn that the only limits I have are the ones I set. We do an exercise where we start with small movements and slowly get bigger and bigger until we are using every bit of space we possibly can. We wave our arms and slide our feet around the floor in a beautiful display. It is truly amazing what you can do without limits.

Though out our lives we create beliefs about ourselves; some of them are right and, some just flat out wrong. We create the belief that we can't do something because we are too shy, too fat, too dumb, too short, too ugly, too weak, too whatever. Eventually, we begin to live our lives around our "I can'ts". We refuse to do the things our hearts desire and, possibly miss out on our passion because, we continue to create boundaries and limits for ourselves.

There is a cure for this limiting virus: Surprising Yourself

Yep, it's really that simple! 

It doesn't have to be something like joining tap, jazz, ballet, lyrical, and hip hop dance classes with teenagers. It can be something as simple as jogging to the mail box. You can start up a conversation with a random person at the grocery store, finally organize that junk drawer, going to a zumba class, or taking an art class. Do something you have always wanted to do but were too afraid to.  

I try to surprise myself every day. Whether it's pushing a little harder at the gym or dance, or just being kind to a stranger. I try to do things that are out of the norm for me, things that I can look back and say "Wow, I was really afraid to do that but I'm glad I did.".

Eventually, when you come up to a hurdle, you will begin to think about those little surprises. You might think you can't run a mile for a split second but then you'll remember that time you walked into a Zumba class and you didn't know anyone. You will find strength in your surprises to squash your can'ts.

Surprising yourself is exactly like that exercise I do in dance. Start small and keep going eventually you will be spinning around the room, using beautiful, fluid motions, exquisitely using every bit of space you have, energy flowing through your body, from your toes to the tips of your fingers, free from the limits your mind had trapped you in before.

Go out into the world my friend and start surprising yourself. Don't be afraid to comment and let me know how you feel afterwards.

Confessions of a Serial Dieter

I have been MIA for the past few weeks and I know a few of you are wondering what the deal is.

I was in a place that required some soul searching.

Although I was making healthier life choices and really motivated to become a healthier person, I was binge eating at least 4 times a week. Thursday would begin and I would have the urge to eat crap and, a whole lot of it. This would continue until Sunday when I felt fat, bloated, and gross.

I can't really remember the first time I binge ate but this has been a pattern for majority of my life. I couldn't figure out why I couldn't just eat like a normal person. I didn't understand why I couldn't just resist the urge to be a fatty. I would stuff myself so full that I felt sick and afterwards I would beat myself up over my bad choices.

I would eat whether I was hungry or not. I would eat if I was happy, sad, excited, anxious... if the urge hit, I would eat. While discussing triggers with a friend of mine she mentioned breathing being a trigger and it's the truth.

Traditional therapy tells me it's an emotional eating disorder and I'm not a doctor but I don't think that's true. Not for me anyway. There also happens to be no scientific evidence proving that binge eating is caused by emotional traumas.

I'm pretty happy. I have the most perfect life for me and I love it. I have an amazing supporting husband, two beautiful furbabies, I work for my mom doing a job I truly enjoy and could have a future in, I have dance every Wednesday and, I'm lucky enough to have a bit of talent in the photography department. I'd say my overeating has absolutely nothing to do with my emotions and, for those of you that know me, you know I'm happy 98% of the time!

This poses the question of why I binge and over eat.

I did NOT come to this conclusion on my own, I read Brain Over Binge by Kathryn Hansen and if you have an eating disorder I highly recommend reading it.

You can purchase the book and read a little more about the author here: brainoverbinge.com

According to the book the reason I binge eat is because I choose to restrict food. My primal brain recognizes that I have cut back calories and, as a means of survival, sends messages to my body that I need food. My primal brain (the subcortex) is not rational and does not realize I am trying to lose weight or that there is plenty of food available, it is working simply to insure my survival.

I have been restricting food since my first diet at 13 years old. Lately I have been cutting back calories to about 1200 calories a day. It makes since that I would binge on Thursday because I dance for 4 hours on Wednesday and my body was not getting enough nutrients.

I have spent 90% of my free time dieting, getting motivated to diet, planning a diet, and/or trying new diets, binge eating, dieting, binge eating... the cycle just continues.

I can't believe I didn't see the connection between my dieting and binge eating before. I have made a new promise to myself. NO MORE DIETS!

No calorie counting, and no beating myself up for going over my allotted amount of calories. I am making a conscious effort to make better choices. I am making an effort to recognize when I am full. I am making an effort to eat normal portions and I am making an effort to change my relationship with food.

For the past 5 days I have done a great job. We went out to eat with some friends last night and I ordered what I wanted. I over ate a little but I wasn't miserable when I left. I have been to the gym 2 days in a row. I have had a few urges to binge but by separating myself from my urges, not fighting them, and just looking at them as if they are meaningless, harmless, and powerless, has helped me overcome them.

My diet (as in what I eat not what I restrict) has improved greatly in the last 5 days which is strange considering nothing is "off limits". I am working on portion sizes and I am satisfied with them. I am making an effort to fix balanced meals at home and somehow I am staying within an acceptable calorie range for me and my activity level... (I admit, I counted calories out of curiosity but only the day after I had already eaten everything.) My calorie level is a bit higher than what I was eating before when I would "diet". Last time I lost 40lbs I lost it at the Diet Center where they encouraged me to only eat 1000 calories a day!It's no wonder my body keeps storing fat... it thinks I'm starving!

If you are having a problem with binge eating please listen to me and DON'T go on a "diet"! I hope to eventually eat an 80% paleo diet but right now I have to work on portions and noticing when I am full. I have to work on recognizing my binge urges as meaningless, powerless, and harmless! Nourishing our body is the most important thing we can do to lose weight. Cutting calories to 1200 when you are active like I am is NOT the way to lose weight.

(I wrote this post last Wednesday but I was too chicken to post it then so here is an update)

I struggled on Wednesday to eat enough calories before and after dance but I did it and you know what? I didn't binge on Thursday and actually lost 2 lbs (from eating MORE)!! I did however bartend from 12-8 Friday and did not eat properly. I skipped lunch, stood on my feet and ran around for a few hours, then ate a piece of chicken some beans and a hot dog (no bun), followed by untold amounts of beer (when my shift was over)... needless to say I over ate the rest of the weekend. This only proves that my problem with over eating has absolutely nothing to do with emotional traumas and everything to do with how I eat!!

I'm back for good, I promise not to go this many weeks with out a post again, and I promise to update you on my relationship with food.

Dieting is a bad thing y'all. Change your relationship with food and exercise. Make a commitment to yourself to make better choices and live a healthy life-style but don't diet. If you do those two things you will lose weight by default, I promise!!!

The Struggle

I was watching a video posted by Erik over at www.efbm.me (if you haven't read his blog check it out). Erik was talking about the struggle and letting people see your struggle and it got me thinking. This journey we are on is not effortless and watching people like Erik and his Bride or ErikaFitLove on Facebook overcome struggles is really inspirational because we have to struggle to become stronger.

You don't build muscle without resistance and struggling is just the weight lifting of life. 

We all struggle but we tend to think we are the only ones.

I get overwhelmed easily and today I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. As I was getting my morning dose of inspiration from people I follow on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, I started thinking about how far I have to go and how there isn't a clear path in front of me.

My last month has been full of 1 step forward and 2 steps back. During the weekends I eat all kinds of crap that I am too embarrassed to tell you guys about today... maybe later. Every Monday becomes a struggle to keep away from sugar and carbs then come Thursday it's time to shove crap into my mouth until Sunday.

I don't know if I just don't have the willpower to resist a whole box of pecan rolls or if I'm not mentally ready for the journey ahead. I'm stuck in the proverbial hamster wheel. I know if I do what I have always done I will get what I've always gotten.

So, today I am struggling. I'm not going to give up though. I feel up to the challenge and I'm ready to build my life-muscles.

Today my struggle is finding a path to follow. Today my struggle is not being able to see the forest for the trees. I'm overwhelmed and I just don't know where to start especially with nutrition.

This post is super depressing... what the heck!!!!!

I want to know what you struggle with and what you do to overcome those struggles. Even if you are like me today and you don't know what to do to overcome your struggle I still want to know what your struggle is!

Comment or email if you want AmyHAdams14@gmail.com but tell me about your struggle.

Giving up is not an option.

Wednesday was my very first day of fall dance classes. I was so excited to do tap because I didn't do any tap during the summer but, when I put on my tap shoes something terrible happened.

I couldn't remember ANYTHING. I was flapping when my teacher said shuffle and I was shuffling when she said flap. The entire tap class was a total disaster. I almost ran out crying. I almost said "Forget it, I can't do this, I'm not good enough." I almost gave up my favorite class.

I looked at the other girls time-stepping (tap step) like it was something they did 20 times a day and I couldn't even do a stupid shuffle. Tap was my favorite type of dance and I couldn't even do a step that was drilled into me from the first time I put on a pair of tap shoes.

I was so embarrassed and I felt like I was holding the other girls back. I apologized to the girls and to my teacher because, I just couldn't believe I couldn't even do elementary steps.

My teacher looked at me with the most serious face and said "Amy, don't apologize, I'm not worried about it. I know you, and I know you will get it because I know when you leave here you will go home and practice." She asked me if I remembered my first summer jazz class. I was so lost the entire class but I went home and I practiced my butt off. I even practiced in my head when I wasn't physically practicing and when I came back during the 2nd week I had vastly improved.

I know my teacher saw my battle and my disappointment in myself. Fortunately, she was able to remind me of what I was capable of doing. She let me know she believed in me and, sometimes that is the difference between giving up and putting on your big girl panties.

I didn't cry and I didn't quit. There's no crying in dance and there is certainly NO QUITTING! I put on my big girl panties (I wouldn't mind if they were a little smaller). I put my head down and I did the very best I could, knowing next week I would do better.

I had a defining moment during that class. I couldn't see the forest for the trees. I couldn't find that dedication and determination I have had since my very first dance class because, I couldn't get past my disappointment and my embarrassment. Miss Jayme did something amazing for me in that small moment that I couldn't do for myself. She believed in me. Now, the best thing I can do to pay her back, is practice, work hard, and not give up!

Do you have someone in your corner? Do you have someone to believe in you when you forget to believe in yourself? If you don't I want you to e-mail me. AmyhAdams14@gmail.com

"I can't" is no longer a part of your vocabulary. "I can, I just need time to practice" is. Quitting is not an option for me and it's not an option for you either. There are going to be times you want to run out screaming, throw your hands up, and give up. There are going to be times when you too can not see the forrest for the trees but you know what? You can do it as long as you don't give up.

I'm here to tell you, it is NOT impossible. It might be hard, it might be embarrassing, and it might be frustrating but it is NOT impossible. You aren't going to get on the treadmill and run a mile your very first time. I'm not going to put on my tap shoes and be as good as I was 10 years ago. I have to work hard and practice and so do you!

I'll leave you guys with a funny... this is totally how I felt last week!

Motivational Wednesday?

This post may be a little long but it has a point... I promise.



Let me start with dance. I took dance for 15 years. Dance was a passion of mine that I took for granted and, in the south dance stops after high school. After college graduation it's time to get married, have kids, and put them in dance. The problem is, I don't want children and therefore I can't get my dance fix through them.

After years of searching for adult dance classes and coming up empty, I gave up. When a wise woman suggested I take the high school classes I thought she was insane but, I jumped at the chance to dance again.

Let's just be clear: It's been 10 years since I stepped foot in a studio, I've gained 65 lbs, and I can't lift my foot waist level, let alone, do a Grand Jete (a jump that only looks good if you have a good split). I WAS TERRIFIED!!!

Don't let me lie to you either, I cleaned the floor with SUCK that first day! Luckily this was just a summer class with VERY few students. I struggled to keep up with the combinations and, I struggled to do the stretches and exercises. Obviously, it was a disaster but I loved EVERY. SINGLE. AGONIZING. MINUTE.

I still struggle. I have to work 5 times harder than the girls in my class just be 1/2 as good as them. The thing is, I'm not there to be the best, I'm not there to prove anything to anyone, and I'm not there to make friends. I'm taking dance for Amy, the only dancer I try to be better than is the dancer I was yesterday.

My point is, don't compare yourself to the person beside you on the treadmill. You don't need to prove anything to anyone but yourself. If you are always trying to be better than someone else, you are going to be disappointed but, if you try to be better than the person you were yesterday, you are going to soar.

Don't look a Becky or Johnny Treadmill running beside you. Figure out your personal best and squash the hell out of it.

Remember: The only person you should try to be better than, is the person you were yesterday!

Leave me a comment and let me know what personal best you are trying to beat!

I have a bad Fattitude

First a little "From Fat Pants to Skinny Jeans" vocabulary

Fattitude: The belief that one is fat and will always be fat.
WARNING: This attitude results in low self-esteem, self-bashing, and self-sabotage. Anyone seeking to become heathy should take steps to change their fattitude immediately.

Healthy Girl/ HG: You may have heard the therm "skinny b****" or "SB" which lovingly refers to women who are thin. I WILL NOT be using this term because I do not want to be "skinny". Health is my number one objective therefore I want to be a Healthy Girl. Fit is the new Skinny!

(Note: I am also not using the term "b****" due to the fact that I'm in the South. Every southern girl knows that cuss words can enhance a conversation but shouldn't be used as the basis of their vocabulary. Plus I want to save that word for someone who really is a B****)





I realized today that I have a nasty fattitude.

Although this may sound comical, it's really a serious problem.

If I eat a brownie I'm under the impression that I need to eat the WHOLE batch, then I absolutely need something salty after I eat something sweet, and of course I need to eat ALL of my salty treat too.

YES MA'AM (or Sir) I am a card carrying member of the clean plate-bag-pan-casserole-dish-club! I leave no brownie un-eaten and no french fry un-chewed. I can face a casserole dish of spaghetti with the same voracity as a Hun faced with the Great Wall of China. That fattitude gets me every single time. She taunts me "Eat me" "AaaaayyyyMeeeee, eaaaaattttt mmmmmeeeee"


When I am done stuffing my face my fattitude rears her ugly head once more, and says to me, "Holy Cow, you freakin' fatty. Just look at you! You're never going to be healthy, you just ate a WHOLE batch of brownies, by yourself, who does that? Fatty, Fatty, Fatty, eat another brownie."

After this happens I follow it with two or three days of cheese burgers, fries, fast food, and just general junk.

Monday arrives and I'm on the wagon again, BUT, I don't make it to they gym and here comes fattitude. "See, you're lazy, you couldn't make it to the gym again. You big fatty, you're always going to be fat because you're too lazy to take your fat petunia to the gym. Just go sit on your couch on your laptop again fatty and while you're at it have a piece of cake (or the whole cake)."

Then when I'm getting dressed and accidentally catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror she says "JESUS, did you swallow a whale. I see those brownies went straight to those thunder thighs fatty. Have a good day at work."

That fattitude is a nasty little B-I-T-C-H!

I'm evicting her. PERIOD. PARAGRAPH.

I don't take myself to the gym because I give up before I even try. I have been listening to my fattitude for so long that I believe her SOOOO .... TWO things have to happen:

1. I have to evict her highness, The Fattitude of Amy.
2. I have to find my inner Healthy Girl. 

How do you accomplish such a task? Heck if I know... I'll get back to you on that.

I know where I'm going to start though: 

I'm going acknowledge my nasty fattitude and every day I'm going to make an effort to recognize her under handed catty behaviors. 

I'll let you know how it goes and I'll leave you with this inspirational photo!

Why I'm against the Fatkini photos!

I know most of you have seen the Fatkini craze that has recently gone viral.

If you haven't seen it yet... take a look Here: Fatkini hashtag goes viral

I am most likely going to get a ton of back lash for this but here goes:

We are promoting obesity.

While I thinks it's great that these women are trying to promote positive body image (trying being the operative word), I think they are causing more problems than they are solving and here is why:


For so long we have complained about those stick thin, unhealthy, anorexic models. They are a bad example for our young girls. They promote an unhealthy and unrealistic ideal of how a woman should look and so do these women. These women are obese. These women are a health risk to themselves. Obese women are just as bad as the anorexic ones.

Do you want your daughter sticking her finger down her throat after dinner? I sure hope not.

Why would you want your daughter to think it's OKAY to weigh 200, 300, 400 lbs?

I can tell you from experience that you don't get to 200lbs and higher by being healthy. I got to 200lbs by binge eating fast food and junk. My blood pressure is high, my knees hurt from holding so much weight, most of the time I'm tired, I have asthma, and I'm at risk for type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol  and the list goes on.

Do you seriously want a life of health problems for your daughter?

Take a look at the health risks in the photo below and tell me it's okay for our young girls to think this is how they should look!

While continuing to promote an unhealthy lifestyle these girls are not promoting positive body image at all.

I know a girl (we will call her Kim) who can not gain weight. Kim  has always been so self conscious of being skinny but she is one of the healthiest people I know. She goes to the gym, she eats clean, and her doctor tells her she does not need to gain any weight.

Kim has been hearing comments like "You are too skinny." and "Girl, eat a biscuit." for so long that she feels like she isn't pretty.

Is it ok to promote one body type while bashing another? Just because someone is skinny doesn't mean they have positive body image.


We need to promote health and with health will come the positive body image we are all looking for!