I have a bad Fattitude

First a little "From Fat Pants to Skinny Jeans" vocabulary

Fattitude: The belief that one is fat and will always be fat.
WARNING: This attitude results in low self-esteem, self-bashing, and self-sabotage. Anyone seeking to become heathy should take steps to change their fattitude immediately.

Healthy Girl/ HG: You may have heard the therm "skinny b****" or "SB" which lovingly refers to women who are thin. I WILL NOT be using this term because I do not want to be "skinny". Health is my number one objective therefore I want to be a Healthy Girl. Fit is the new Skinny!

(Note: I am also not using the term "b****" due to the fact that I'm in the South. Every southern girl knows that cuss words can enhance a conversation but shouldn't be used as the basis of their vocabulary. Plus I want to save that word for someone who really is a B****)





I realized today that I have a nasty fattitude.

Although this may sound comical, it's really a serious problem.

If I eat a brownie I'm under the impression that I need to eat the WHOLE batch, then I absolutely need something salty after I eat something sweet, and of course I need to eat ALL of my salty treat too.

YES MA'AM (or Sir) I am a card carrying member of the clean plate-bag-pan-casserole-dish-club! I leave no brownie un-eaten and no french fry un-chewed. I can face a casserole dish of spaghetti with the same voracity as a Hun faced with the Great Wall of China. That fattitude gets me every single time. She taunts me "Eat me" "AaaaayyyyMeeeee, eaaaaattttt mmmmmeeeee"


When I am done stuffing my face my fattitude rears her ugly head once more, and says to me, "Holy Cow, you freakin' fatty. Just look at you! You're never going to be healthy, you just ate a WHOLE batch of brownies, by yourself, who does that? Fatty, Fatty, Fatty, eat another brownie."

After this happens I follow it with two or three days of cheese burgers, fries, fast food, and just general junk.

Monday arrives and I'm on the wagon again, BUT, I don't make it to they gym and here comes fattitude. "See, you're lazy, you couldn't make it to the gym again. You big fatty, you're always going to be fat because you're too lazy to take your fat petunia to the gym. Just go sit on your couch on your laptop again fatty and while you're at it have a piece of cake (or the whole cake)."

Then when I'm getting dressed and accidentally catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror she says "JESUS, did you swallow a whale. I see those brownies went straight to those thunder thighs fatty. Have a good day at work."

That fattitude is a nasty little B-I-T-C-H!

I'm evicting her. PERIOD. PARAGRAPH.

I don't take myself to the gym because I give up before I even try. I have been listening to my fattitude for so long that I believe her SOOOO .... TWO things have to happen:

1. I have to evict her highness, The Fattitude of Amy.
2. I have to find my inner Healthy Girl. 

How do you accomplish such a task? Heck if I know... I'll get back to you on that.

I know where I'm going to start though: 

I'm going acknowledge my nasty fattitude and every day I'm going to make an effort to recognize her under handed catty behaviors. 

I'll let you know how it goes and I'll leave you with this inspirational photo!