Sunday, August 31, 2014

Giving up is not an option.

Wednesday was my very first day of fall dance classes. I was so excited to do tap because I didn't do any tap during the summer but, when I put on my tap shoes something terrible happened.

I couldn't remember ANYTHING. I was flapping when my teacher said shuffle and I was shuffling when she said flap. The entire tap class was a total disaster. I almost ran out crying. I almost said "Forget it, I can't do this, I'm not good enough." I almost gave up my favorite class.

I looked at the other girls time-stepping (tap step) like it was something they did 20 times a day and I couldn't even do a stupid shuffle. Tap was my favorite type of dance and I couldn't even do a step that was drilled into me from the first time I put on a pair of tap shoes.

I was so embarrassed and I felt like I was holding the other girls back. I apologized to the girls and to my teacher because, I just couldn't believe I couldn't even do elementary steps.

My teacher looked at me with the most serious face and said "Amy, don't apologize, I'm not worried about it. I know you, and I know you will get it because I know when you leave here you will go home and practice." She asked me if I remembered my first summer jazz class. I was so lost the entire class but I went home and I practiced my butt off. I even practiced in my head when I wasn't physically practicing and when I came back during the 2nd week I had vastly improved.

I know my teacher saw my battle and my disappointment in myself. Fortunately, she was able to remind me of what I was capable of doing. She let me know she believed in me and, sometimes that is the difference between giving up and putting on your big girl panties.

I didn't cry and I didn't quit. There's no crying in dance and there is certainly NO QUITTING! I put on my big girl panties (I wouldn't mind if they were a little smaller). I put my head down and I did the very best I could, knowing next week I would do better.

I had a defining moment during that class. I couldn't see the forest for the trees. I couldn't find that dedication and determination I have had since my very first dance class because, I couldn't get past my disappointment and my embarrassment. Miss Jayme did something amazing for me in that small moment that I couldn't do for myself. She believed in me. Now, the best thing I can do to pay her back, is practice, work hard, and not give up!

Do you have someone in your corner? Do you have someone to believe in you when you forget to believe in yourself? If you don't I want you to e-mail me. AmyhAdams14@gmail.com


"I can't" is no longer a part of your vocabulary. "I can, I just need time to practice" is. Quitting is not an option for me and it's not an option for you either. There are going to be times you want to run out screaming, throw your hands up, and give up. There are going to be times when you too can not see the forrest for the trees but you know what? You can do it as long as you don't give up.

I'm here to tell you, it is NOT impossible. It might be hard, it might be embarrassing, and it might be frustrating but it is NOT impossible. You aren't going to get on the treadmill and run a mile your very first time. I'm not going to put on my tap shoes and be as good as I was 10 years ago. I have to work hard and practice and so do you!

I'll leave you guys with a funny... this is totally how I felt last week!




Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Motivational Wednesday?

This post may be a little long but it has a point... I promise.



Let me start with dance. I took dance for 15 years. Dance was a passion of mine that I took for granted and, in the south dance stops after high school. After college graduation it's time to get married, have kids, and put them in dance. The problem is, I don't want children and therefore I can't get my dance fix through them.

After years of searching for adult dance classes and coming up empty, I gave up. When a wise woman suggested I take the high school classes I thought she was insane but, I jumped at the chance to dance again.

Let's just be clear: It's been 10 years since I stepped foot in a studio, I've gained 65 lbs, and I can't lift my foot waist level, let alone, do a Grand Jete (a jump that only looks good if you have a good split). I WAS TERRIFIED!!!

Don't let me lie to you either, I cleaned the floor with SUCK that first day! Luckily this was just a summer class with VERY few students. I struggled to keep up with the combinations and, I struggled to do the stretches and exercises. Obviously, it was a disaster but I loved EVERY. SINGLE. AGONIZING. MINUTE.

I still struggle. I have to work 5 times harder than the girls in my class just be 1/2 as good as them. The thing is, I'm not there to be the best, I'm not there to prove anything to anyone, and I'm not there to make friends. I'm taking dance for Amy, the only dancer I try to be better than is the dancer I was yesterday.

My point is, don't compare yourself to the person beside you on the treadmill. You don't need to prove anything to anyone but yourself. If you are always trying to be better than someone else, you are going to be disappointed but, if you try to be better than the person you were yesterday, you are going to soar.

Don't look a Becky or Johnny Treadmill running beside you. Figure out your personal best and squash the hell out of it.

Remember: The only person you should try to be better than, is the person you were yesterday!

Leave me a comment and let me know what personal best you are trying to beat!

Monday, August 18, 2014

I have a bad Fattitude

First a little "From Fat Pants to Skinny Jeans" vocabulary

Fattitude: The belief that one is fat and will always be fat.
WARNING: This attitude results in low self-esteem, self-bashing, and self-sabotage. Anyone seeking to become heathy should take steps to change their fattitude immediately.

Healthy Girl/ HG: You may have heard the therm "skinny b****" or "SB" which lovingly refers to women who are thin. I WILL NOT be using this term because I do not want to be "skinny". Health is my number one objective therefore I want to be a Healthy Girl. Fit is the new Skinny!

(Note: I am also not using the term "b****" due to the fact that I'm in the South. Every southern girl knows that cuss words can enhance a conversation but shouldn't be used as the basis of their vocabulary. Plus I want to save that word for someone who really is a B****)





I realized today that I have a nasty fattitude.

Although this may sound comical, it's really a serious problem.

If I eat a brownie I'm under the impression that I need to eat the WHOLE batch, then I absolutely need something salty after I eat something sweet, and of course I need to eat ALL of my salty treat too.

YES MA'AM (or Sir) I am a card carrying member of the clean plate-bag-pan-casserole-dish-club! I leave no brownie un-eaten and no french fry un-chewed. I can face a casserole dish of spaghetti with the same voracity as a Hun faced with the Great Wall of China. That fattitude gets me every single time. She taunts me "Eat me" "AaaaayyyyMeeeee, eaaaaattttt mmmmmeeeee"


When I am done stuffing my face my fattitude rears her ugly head once more, and says to me, "Holy Cow, you freakin' fatty. Just look at you! You're never going to be healthy, you just ate a WHOLE batch of brownies, by yourself, who does that? Fatty, Fatty, Fatty, eat another brownie."

After this happens I follow it with two or three days of cheese burgers, fries, fast food, and just general junk.

Monday arrives and I'm on the wagon again, BUT, I don't make it to they gym and here comes fattitude. "See, you're lazy, you couldn't make it to the gym again. You big fatty, you're always going to be fat because you're too lazy to take your fat petunia to the gym. Just go sit on your couch on your laptop again fatty and while you're at it have a piece of cake (or the whole cake)."

Then when I'm getting dressed and accidentally catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror she says "JESUS, did you swallow a whale. I see those brownies went straight to those thunder thighs fatty. Have a good day at work."

That fattitude is a nasty little B-I-T-C-H!

I'm evicting her. PERIOD. PARAGRAPH.

I don't take myself to the gym because I give up before I even try. I have been listening to my fattitude for so long that I believe her SOOOO .... TWO things have to happen:


  1. I have to evict her highness, The Fattitude of Amy.
  2. I have to find my inner Healthy Girl. 
How do you accomplish such a task? Heck if I know... I'll get back to you on that.

I know where I'm going to start though: 
I'm going acknowledge my nasty fattitude and every day I'm going to make an effort to recognize her under handed catty behaviors. 

I'll let you know how it goes and I'll leave you with this inspirational photo!


Thursday, August 14, 2014

Why I'm against the Fatkini photos!

I know most of you have seen the Fatkini craze that has recently gone viral.

If you haven't seen it yet... take a look Here: Fatkini hashtag goes viral

I am most likely going to get a ton of back lash for this but here goes:

We are promoting obesity.

While I thinks it's great that these women are trying to promote positive body image (trying being the operative word), I think they are causing more problems than they are solving and here is why:


For so long we have complained about those stick thin, unhealthy, anorexic models. They are a bad example for our young girls. They promote an unhealthy and unrealistic ideal of how a woman should look and so do these women. These women are obese. These women are a health risk to themselves. Obese women are just as bad as the anorexic ones.

Do you want your daughter sticking her finger down her throat after dinner? I sure hope not.


Why would you want your daughter to think it's OKAY to weigh 200, 300, 400 lbs?

I can tell you from experience that you don't get to 200lbs and higher by being healthy. I got to 200lbs by binge eating fast food and junk. My blood pressure is high, my knees hurt from holding so much weight, most of the time I'm tired, I have asthma, and I'm at risk for type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol  and the list goes on.

Do you seriously want a life of health problems for your daughter?

Take a look at the health risks in the photo below and tell me it's okay for our young girls to think this is how they should look!



While continuing to promote an unhealthy lifestyle these girls are not promoting positive body image at all.

I know a girl (we will call her Kim) who can not gain weight. Kim  has always been so self conscious of being skinny but she is one of the healthiest people I know. She goes to the gym, she eats clean, and her doctor tells her she does not need to gain any weight.

Kim has been hearing comments like "You are too skinny." and "Girl, eat a biscuit." for so long that she feels like she isn't pretty.

Is it ok to promote one body type while bashing another? Just because someone is skinny doesn't mean they have positive body image.


We need to promote health and with health will come the positive body image we are all looking for!










Wednesday, August 13, 2014

It's Weigh in Wednesday!

Hallelujah, it's Weigh in Wednesday. I have been staring at that stupid scale ALL week!!!

So here's the big news

I LOST 2 LBS! (imagine what I could have done if I had stuck to my eating habits the first half of the week!)

Unfortunately, I didn't take measurements last week so here are my new stats.

Weight: 216.2
Neck: 15"
Right arm: 15.5"
Left arm: 15.5"
Chest: 46
Waist: 41.5
Hips: 48
Right thigh: 25.5
Left thigh: 26
Right calf: 17
Left calf: 17.5
I took these measurements myself so they may not be accurate! oh well!

I am only .2lbs from meeting my goal of 216 by Aug 25 and we still have 2 weeks to go!!!
Only 3lbs from my 5lb goal for the month!!!
Hopefully I will have that pirouette down pat by the end of the month. If so, I will give you guys a little video action!! I HAVE been practicing.

While we are here, let's have a little Way back Wednesday post as well:

Believe it or not... this is me! It's sad, I know but today it's my motivation!!  This was sometime between 2004-2005... I'm probably 16 or 17.


My reflection on the week:

I did really great the second half of the week, I ate lots of veggies like mashed cauliflower, and spaghetti squash but my gym ventures were NADA! 

My promise to myself for next week:

I'm going to put forth the effort to eat well ALL week this week and I'm going to make it to the stinking gym! I am also going to practice, practice, practice my pirouette and the combination that goes with it!!








Tuesday, August 12, 2014

I can't make it to the Gym!

I can't make it to the gym:

I seriously don't know what my problem is... I swear EVERY DAY that I am going to go to the gym but my lazy hiney never goes. Let me outline for you my excuses

Last Week:

Monday: Went to the gym but when I got there at 4 the gym was FULL there wasn't even a free treadmill. THEN I spotted some people from highschool... I left immediately!

Tuesday: Was my birthday and I had a date with the family (totally could have gone that morning)

Wednesday: Dance class which is 138 minutes long... all the gym I need on wednesdays

Thursday: Ummm.... My knee was swollen from dance class

Friday: Ummm... I'm off on Fridays, I went to the grocery store I think.... I'm not really sure what I did on friday!

Saturday: I went to a birthday party for our neighbors son at 11 and left at 1 and then I cooked, baked, sliced, and diced in food preparation until Ray got home at 7... then I sat on the couch

Sunday: The gym is closed on Sunday BUT I just laid on the couch all day!!!

This Week so Far:

Monday: I was supposed to go Monday morning before work with my mom but my mom cancelled on me. I was still going to go until I realized my phone wasn't charged so I couldn't listen to pandora while I worked out. I was going to go after work but I'm doing some training this week and get off work at 4 (the same time the gym is PACKED) so I went home

Today: I just flat out left my gym bag at home!

How do you deal with the excuses you give yourself? How do you get yourself into the gym? Where do you find your motivation?

 I get myself to dance EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK. without fail, it's on my calendar at work so that my mom knows I'm leaving at 2:30 by the latest... why can't I get to the gym?

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Inspirational Song Saturday!

For today's inspirational song I chose "People Like Us" by Kelly Clarkson for a few reasons.



A) It's a kick butt power jam and who doesn't need one of those?

B) "People like us we gotta stick together, keep your head up nothing lasts forever." this line IS the message we do need to stick together. We need to motivate and inspire each other. We need to stand together and lift each other up. We are in this together, to share our good days and remind one another that the bad days will NOT last forever!





Friday, August 8, 2014

Goals:

I know from work that it is super important to set goals for yourself. I personally HATE setting goals but it's because I typically look back on them and see that I have failed.. again and again and again.

I am determined not to fail this time so here is my starting point and my goals. No holding back, I'm even going to put down the way I feel. I think it will be interesting to look back on.

Starting Weight: 218
Pant Size: 14
Shirt Size: XL
I feel: Gross and bloated. Sluggish and lazy. Tired. I don't want to look in the mirror because I know last year this time I weighed 182 and I seriously don't want to look at the blob standing in the mirror. I don't want to go anywhere that I don't HAVE to go!

Short Term Goals:

1.) Lose 5 Lbs and incorporate healthy eating and exercise into my lifestyle
2.) Start my dance class on August 25th at 216 lbs
3.) Be able to do a single, acceptable, Pirouette in ballet class. (I can do one now but it's sloppy)

Long Term Goals:

1.) Get down to a healthy weight where I feel happy and comfortable (I'm thinking 145)
2.) Learn to love exercise
3.) Join a dance competition class
4.) Run a 5K
5.) Make 2 new friends that share my passions and spend more time with old ones.
6.) Do a right split.
7.) Do a double Pirouette.

Falling off the Wagon

Things happen, life happens, stress happens, and you fall off of the proverbial wagon. The problem is we tend to look at that as a failure. It's not the act of falling off the wagon that defines you, it's what you do afterwards.

So many times I say to myself "well I ate those brownies, might as well eat those french fries too." immediately followed by "I'll do better tomorrow." My day ends in a binge worthy of professional help.

The problem is, I see that brownie as my failure-point. Reality is, that brownie was ONE battle, and every time I give that ONE battle the power to win the war. Why?... Don't ask me I have no freaking clue!

I tend to think "I screwed up and now I have to start all over." I don't have to start over are you kidding me?

It's like riding a bike: If I get on my bike at my house, with the intention to ride to the end of the street, but fall off at the driveway, do I have to go back to my house and start over? HELL NO, who does that? I can just get back on my bike and ride until I fall again. The only time I have to start over is when I give up. When I say "F it, I can't even get to the driveway, I quit."

Don't let that one battle win the war! Don't let the act of falling off the wagon define you because it's going to happen.  So you had a weak moment, so you ate 5 brownies. IT'S OKAY! Get back on the proverbial wagon, or horse, or whatever proverbial-such-and-such you may be riding!

That one slip-up is NOT failure. That one slip-up was a fumble in the end zone when you are already ahead 24-0 and there is 10 seconds left in the game. The chances of the other team winning are pretty slim to none so why would you forfeit?

I hope you take this with you and remember that you have NOT failed until you give up!

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Why you should buy locally and eat organic

This one is long friends brace yourselves.....


Food sustains life, and without it we simply would not be. Every year the average family of four spends $8,513 on groceries. So much of our society is centered around food. Think about how much of your time, spent with family and friends includes food. Today, you go to the supermarket, purchase what you need and viola... it's time to cook (or eat). We take for granted how that food got to the supermarket, and most of us NEVER think about what is in it.

There are approximately 5 million fewer family owned farms in America than there were in 1930 due to a food industry that is dominated by a handful of giant corporations, which  benefit from government policies that favor large-scale production. Farmers are a dying breed and according to Farm Aid 330 farmers leave their land every week.

So, why buy locally? Aside from large-scale agricultural business hurting our local farmers and taking money from our community, it is not sustainable. Most produce is picked 4-7 days before getting to the supermarket. Cheap oil allows us to ship produce from all around the world, but with prices rising how long will we be able to keep it up? What happens if oil skyrockets? We will see the prices of so many necessities go through the roof, and many families will go hungry. The implications of a wide-spread food shortage will be something this country has never seen. We will have to depend on our local farmers. If we don't support them now they can't be here to save us later! I'm not saying this is going to happen but why would you want to chance it? Think about it!

If the promise of a food shortage isn't enough for you to buy locally, what about your health? Most local farmers do not use the genetically-modified organisms or GMOs that the large corporations use. A genetically-modified organism is an organism whose genetic material has been altered using genetic engineering techniques. Scientists are actually able to insert DNA from one species to another. For example there is an arctic fish that produces a sort of antifreeze to keep it from freezing in the arctic waters. The DNA gene that allows this fish to produce this antifreeze is actually inserted into strawberries. Inserting this gene keeps the strawberries, normally susceptible to frost, from freezing.

I must tell you there is no proof that genetically-modified foods are harmful, but GMOs have a short history of use, and therefore safety. It could be years, or even decades before we are sure of the effects of GMOs. Again why would you want to chance it? We all know that our bodies are very delicate and everything we put in them affects them one way or the other. Scientist have even taken the gene that produces venom in scorpions and modified it to act as an insecticide in cabbage. Apparently this venom is not harmful to humans and only to insects.

This doesn't just happen with strawberries and cabbage.18% of all GMOs even produce their own pesticides.  According to the Center for Food Safety, up to 85 percent of U.S. corn is genetically engineered as are 91 percent of soybeans and 88 percent of cotton (cottonseed oil is often used in food products). It has been estimated that upwards of 70 percent of processed foods on supermarket shelves–from soda to soup, crackers to condiments–contain genetically engineered ingredients.  Which leads me into why you should eat organic...

When I used to hear the word organic I thought about those save-the-planet-smoke-some-pot hippies. I am NOT one of those hippies and personally think a lot of this going "Green" stuff is just propaganda, then I did some research. I discovered that organic foods have higher nutrients like vitamin C, antioxidants, calcium, iron, chromium (the good kind, not the bad kind) and magnesium. Hey, what so bad about getting more nutrients?

Organic foods are also free of neurotoxins that could damage brain and nerve cells. Organophosphates were originally developed during World War I as a toxic nerve agent. When there was no longer need for them in warfare, industry adapted them to kill pests on foods.

So maybe this doesn't bother you, but children are more susceptible to toxins and choosing organic helps support their growing brains and bodies. The US Environmental Protection Agency says that 80% of herbicides, 90% of fungicides, and 30% of insecticides are potentially cancer causing.  You wouldn't put your baby in the car without her car-seat, or let you son play football with out a helmet would you? Of course not... then why would you feed them foods that could cause cancer, or heart disease? After all, you might not get in a car accident, and your son might not get a brain injury, but the fact is you DON'T take that chance.

Think about all of the e-coli outbreaks you hear about on the news. The CDC documented 11 food borne outbreaks in 2011. Compare that to the 3 that were reported in 2006. The CDC estimates that each year roughly 1 in 6 Americans (or 48 million people) get sick, 128,000 are hospitalized, and 3,000 die of food borne diseases. I wont even begin with the obesity epidemic.

We can contribute a lot of the obesity epidemic to fast food chains. McDonald's is the single largest purchaser of beef in the US, selling around 15 million hamburgers A DAY. I am willing to bet you didn't know what happens to that beef before it gets to your tasty Big Mac.

With such a demand for beef, large corporations have found ways to fatten cattle up as quickly as possible. Most beef cattle spend their short lives in concentrated animal feeding operations in very close conditions with 1,000 or more head of cattle. Cows are also fed corn (genetically-modified) to fatten them up quicker. This is a major issue because it upsets their tummies and makes them sick. Corn causes a layer of foamy slime to form in their rumen (or big food-processing tank) that traps gas. Since the cow can't poot or burp, the rumen balloons out and presses against the animals lungs, causing them to suffocate. Usually a hose is rammed down the animals throat to prevent this. Okay, so they are cows, and they are relatively stupid, but they shouldn't need to suffer. We should respect our food, it does give us life after all.

If the inhumane treatment doesn't phase you think about the disease? A corn diet generates acidosis and produces nasty parasites and bacteria like E-coli to form. Most of the time cows are given many doses of antibiotics. Eating grass-fed beef, or free-range chicken/eggs, insures that you don't get the residual antibiotics. What is so bad about that you ask? The over use of antibiotics can lead to antibiotic-resistant bacteria. Mad Cow disease anyone? How about all the new strains of flu?

Eating grass-fed beef does a lot more than keep those antibiotics and growth hormones out of your system. Grass-fed meat is lower in overall fat and provides Omega-3 fats (good fats). They are also up to 4 time higher in Vitamin E, and a nutrient called Conjugated Linolic Acid, which is associated with lowering cancer and heart disease.

Okay, so I pay a bit more for my organic eggs... I also pay a little more for organic milk but you know what's cool? Organic milk lasts up to a month longer than regular milk. Why? According to Craig Baumrucker, professor of animal nutrition and physiology at Pennsylvania State University, organic milk uses a different process to preserve it. Organic milk is heated to 280 degrees Fahrenheit for two to four seconds, killing any bacteria in it. Regular milk is only heated to about 160 degrees F for around 15 seconds in a process called Pasteurization. Pasteurization doesn't kill the bacteria in the milk, just enough so that you don't get a disease with your morning cereal. No Bueno my friend... I don't want all of that bacteria, and I never have to throw milk out!!! I also don't get the B.G.s when I have organic milk (also know as the bubble guts).


Purchasing locally is going to help our communities, and our friends. Eating organically is going to insure our children, and our loved ones are safe and healthy. The great thing about America is we have a free-market, well more or less, but this isn't a political discussion. If we as the consumers say "NO MORE", our grocery stores will begin selling more organic foods, and local produce will be more easily accessible! Inform your loved-ones and take a stand. Tell the corporations "I'm not taking a chance with my family.". Tell your local farmers you appreciate all that they do! Eat organic and purchase locally. Get on the Internet and research for yourself. I have the power to change how America eats and so do you!






Hello my name is:

Hi, My name is Amy Adams and I am one of the millions of Americans who have basically given up on being happy and healthy. I have basically filled my world with "I can't"s for so many years that I have gained 80lbs since 2004.

I got on a huge kick last year and lost 45 but ultimately reverted back to my old habits and gained 25 of it back. So, here I am at 205lbs, unhappy, and unhealthy. Why?

I'm lucky enough to have a life coach willing to help me answer this question. I'm not writing this blog to teach you what you should do to be happy and healthy, or to show you how to lose weight. Nope, there are millions of blogs out there like that.

 I'm writing this blog to share my journey into the unknown with those of you who are like me. I am writing this blog to share my ups and downs in finding Amy and maybe I can help someone else find themselves along the way!